I have no update for you today because I'm so busy

("with what Rachel?" "with life, man. LIFE.")

Instead I'll tell you that one of the top phrases that directs people to my blog is "sharpie in her ass."

I'll just...... um... I don't even know what to say about that. Honestly, I am a little shocked. Who is googling that?! And WHY. Sweet lord, WHY. Also: my blog has nothing to do with any of that!!!! I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH ANY OF THAT, YOU HEAR ME?

If you were directed here because you searched for that phrase, go to time out! That's nasty! What's wrong with you? Come on, people.

inb4 "Now that you've typed that in an entry, you'll get even MORE hits because of that phrase" IRONY.